The Recovering Yogi.
One of the main goals of Yoga in Boston, is to make yoga accessible to as many people as possible by sharing information and programs that do just that, create a space where anyone, independent of their circumstances, can find a way to experience yoga.
I am so grateful to Tim Kelleher for sharing his own story of yoga and recovery, and how he is bringing his healing powers to those struggling with addiction with his new series the Recovering Yogi.
Tim brings his experience, his professionalism, his vast yoga knowledge and his passion to a series that offers a safe environment to experience yoga, open to all struggling with any form of addiction.
I sat down with Tim so he could share his story and explain just who this program is really for.
Q. What brought you to yoga?
A. I was 25, and in a residential treatment program as my addiction had left me homeless. I was miserable and scared and someone took me to a yoga class in a gym. I had the experience of feeling embodied, as you do as a dancer, and at the same time, feeling very safe in my body, which I had not felt in maybe 10 years, after all the trauma of active addiction and the traumas that contributed to my use in the first place.
Q. What was your experience of that first class?
A. When I went to that class, I thought, oh, maybe it is possible to recover. I had been to all of this therapy, and then 12 steps, and thought to myself, I am fucked if this is the only way.
The yoga practice made me feel like I could perhaps inhabit my body and mind in safety, so I went back and I went back and I went back. For the first time, I thought, maybe there is a way that I can live. So in many ways, finding a yoga practice gave me a way to live.
Q. Did you begin teaching soon after?
A. No, at that point, I wanted to feel safe in the world and thought money would make me feel safe, I went back to school to get a degree in finance, ran a business. I was miserable, running to the studio every second to ameliorate the misery of my job.
I signed up for a teacher training at Back Bay Yoga 2009 with no intention of teaching, had been studying with Kate Greer, halfway through the training, they pulled me aside and said, Tim we think you should be teaching. I was flattered, but at the time was still not interested. But it did plant a seed, and by the time the training was over, I thought, I’ll get a class at the gym, or the Y or something!
I had a decade of attending yoga classes in me so I was pretty well known. I went into David Vendetti’s class one morning, at South Boston yoga and he asked me to sub a class. It was a lot of pressure to teach with all of my teachers, but despite my fear and trepidation I started teaching.
I slowly started to add classes and dump clients until I was teaching full time. I started running retreats internationally, spearheading yoga and recovery programs in Boston. And now I am also parenting two kids.
Q. What compelled you to start this program now?
A. For many years I didn’t talk publicly as a recovering man. Over several years, people pushed and said you should be doing this work. I wanted to be a teacher for everyone, and I was worried in some ways of being pigeonholed as the recovery guy. But with time, and experience I began to feel like I was missing a big opportunity to be of service.
This year was difficult in many ways, and the best way to stop worrying about yourself is to be of service to others… so I came out as recovering.
I struggled with it, because 12 steps are all about professional anonymity and wanted to approach it thoughtfully. I reached out to a man named some colleagues who were already doing this type of work, and they helped my design a class that is really community based and effective.
Q. Tell me more about how you, as a teacher, design a class for someone that is recovering from addiction?
A. Most addicts are not without some sort of trauma history, whether it was a root cause of the addiction or happened during active use or both. So whether we have students recovering from opiate addiction, an eating disorder, or anxiety, we are speaking the language of recovery.
Being cognizant of designing a practice that is accessible, realizing that many of the students may have never been in a yoga class, and that they may have some real sensitivity to being embodied in a large a group is important. I focus on building strength, power and an open heart.
Q. What will a student experience at a Recovering Yogi class?
A. I lead a practice designed to reinforce the philosophical teachings, offering my expertise as a philosophy student and teacher, along with a guided meditation. That lays a foundation and then I turn it over to the group for discussion.
Its not my role to try to fix anyone, or offer and one way to recovery. The only job I have is to offer a shape or an idea that someone can experience. I feel that I have enough experience to string together ideas and shapes that will likely have an effect, for example, the way the poses are sequenced. Ultimately it is the responsibility of each student, my responsibility ends. I’m like a Sherpa, and if there’s a landslide, and I’ll help you find a safe path around it.
Q. What kind of feedback are you receiving?
A. People share that they felt that they weren’t comparing themselves to other people in class, that it provided a space for community, and that the idea that the yoga space is only for a certain person, a certain socio-economic status, a certain body type, a certain type of experience, is not true.
Addiction or any type of self-harming behavior can be really isolating, so this provides a sense of community.
How do we integrate these ideas of self care when we are used to the opposite, self destruction, being in that breath and that movement, is really powerful, communing in that way, is really powerful.
After attending one of the Recovering Yogis classes, I’ve seen students coming to other classes, so they felt a little more at home here. (JP Centre Yoga)
Q. Is there anything else you would like to say to someone considering joining?
A. This program is for anyone, if you are questioning, unsure, it is simply to come together to focus on healing, and that there are no expectations, come as you are.
You can find more about this program, and see Tim's schedule at tkyoga.com
